Postpartum Realities

As a new mom there are so many different things constantly running through your mind. A new problem I never expected to have postpartum arises every single day. You think you know, but you have no idea, until you are actually in that spot. 

Last night my daughter slept through the night in her own crib in her own room. This wasn't the first night this happened. But still, somehow I am exhausted this morning. Why? Because I sat and stared at the monitor as every single minute  passed.



postpartum realities

 

1. Sleeping through the night

WOW. Nobody warned me how miserable this was/still kind of is. Is it just me mama's? Am I crazy? Don't get me wrong- I totally enjoy my evenings with my other half. But 3 AM hits, and she still hasn't made a peep - and I am losing it. Why did everybody talk about this moment like it was magical? I know I SHOULD be taking advantage of this moment right now, but I can't because every fear in the world is currently setting up camp in my brain. Then she rolls onto her belly - and now I'm really hyperventilating. This is NOT all it's cracked up to be. I miss her, I'm worried about her, and I'm still exhausted the next morning. I feel like this is really a lose lose and I should prob go pick her up and cuddle with her right this instant, right? 😩

 

2. THE CLOTHES.

So I knew she had a huge wardrobe even prior to our baby shower, but WOW. Nobody can prepare you for the amount of decluttering you're going to be doing AT LEAST the first 6 months of their life. It doesn't just happen in spurts like you would think. I'll go through her clothes at 3 months, then 6, so on so forth. Nope. Every. Single. Day. I go through clothes. I have a permanent gift bag in her room that I am forever throwing things into, so I can pass it down to my friend who is having a baby next month., And don't even get me started on YOUR clothes. You find something comfortable, that fits, and then your weight fluctuates AGAIN. You go from super preggo, back down to 3-month-preggo look-a-like postpartum, and then kind of back to normal... but not really? Clothes = clutter = madness = I-dont-have-time-to-declutter = AHHHHH!!!!!!

postpartum recovery + healing after birth

 

3. Unwanted parental guidance + Negativity

Okay, third time is the charm. WOW. I can't believe the things people say to you as a new mom. I mean I heard horror stories prior to being a mom, but it's an entire other level when you are actually a mom. Let me break it down for you in the simplest terms - you will never win this battle. It doesn't matter how long your kid is rear facing, or how often you homemake their baby food, or whatever it is you do. You will never be able to please everybody. People are going to constantly question every single method of your parenting. Why don't you cut their hair? Why don't cut their nails? Why don't you feed them this way? Everybody has something to say about everything. Accept it early on, and ignore them. Don't let it consume you! Why are we so negative towards each other? Why do other moms feel the need to constantly tell me "Oh, it's only just started" or "It gets worse" Like??????????? Can we stop?! And how about the judgement and questioning? Why do we feel the need to question each other about how we parent? I am all about advice from other mama's who have struggled before me - educate me! And I love to educate others from my experiences as well! It's why I started blogging! But do we have to be so negative? Stop putting each other down, or telling people that it gets worse! Seriously?! We can do better mama's! This goes for all of you, I don't care what generation! Grandma, aunts, cousins - it's not okay! 

 

With everything in life, "this too shall pass"!

But until then, I'll be enjoying my growing babe, staying up all night watching the monitor, and ignoring the negativity! I hope you choose to do the same!

What kind of postpartum surprises did/do you run into? 

Xo

-MMM

 

Sleep Training 101; 0-3 Months

So you spend 40 weeks of your life growing a tiny human, about 20 (give or take - hopefully take for your sake!) hours in labor, 2-3 days recovering in the hospital with countless visitors and being woken up what feels like every 5 seconds for meds and vitals, and then they send ya home and tell ya to "rest". Let's laugh together, ladies. If you are in this stage right now I have two things to say to you :

1. It is not forever. I know it feels like forever, but it is not.

2. You will sleep again, I promise.

I know if you're reading this  you're probably just desperate for these tips and tricks so let's just get right into it!

*Just so you know, my posts usually contain affiliate links. This means that if you make a purchase by pressing a link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.*



sleep training your baby

Okay, so first things first. Your newborn is not going to completely sleep through the night. They need to get up and eat. This is normal. There is no magical method to make them not do this. BUT you CAN use my method to help them sleep in longer stretches. My baby would do 3-4 hour stretches at night on average. She would more-so do a 5-6 hour stretch, wake up, eat, and then do another 3-4 hour stretch. 

New Mamas : How does 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep sound?! Woot Woot!

I cannot guarantee this works for absolutely everybody, but it did work for us, as well as some friends we have suggested it to. I also am not going to lie and say she's a perfect sleeper every night. She definitely has had her gassy or colic-y nights, But all babies do! I found that if I can do something that works 90% of the time for us, that the other 10% is not so unbearable.

1. Routine

THIS IS CRUCIAL. I had a "friend" one time look at me like I was a lunatic and say "Why do you already have her on a schedule?" with a nice little eye roll to follow. Routine is SO IMPORTANT. At every stage of their lives! It helps them THRIVE! Our routine went as such :

7 PM - Bath time 

7:45/8 PM - Story time

8/8:15 PM - Nursing (or bottle)

8:30/9 PM - SLEEP.

I know they say "don't bathe your baby every day" but I felt that for routine purposes it really helped us, so that is obviously up to you. But I would suggest filling that space with something else familiar on the nights you chose to not bathe them. For us, bath time insinuates to her that it's time to settle down and get sleepy. Although she does not personally tell me that, I can tell, as her mother, that during bath time she really relaxes and starts to settle down slowly. During bath time, we use Lavender Shampoo and Lavender Body Wash as well. When actual bath time is complete, we do a short baby massage with Lavender Bedtime Lotion. Lavender is everything. It is said to help babies soothe and the one we use, which is fairly common, is formulated with "NATURALCALM" essences, which release a blend of gentle and calming aromas.
sleep training

Now the clothing is tricky. Did you know that heavy clothing can increase the risk of SIDS? How you dress them for bedtime is REALLY important for what's to come in the next few steps. We found that the onesies, that are long sleeve, and have the flip over mittens on the end work best. See what I'm talking about here. After we got her all dressed, we would read her a quick story book, and I would nurse her in the rocking chair in the nursery. A bonus tip : make sure you are spending plenty of time in the nursery! It's very important to get them comfortable and familiarized with their room, if you ever plan on them sleeping in there. If you don't plan on that, or that isn't an option, I just suggest at least nursing or feeding in the same spot every night. Usually she would get very sleepy, but not quite asleep, after eating. Now it's time for the real key to the equation.

 

2. Swaddling

Okay don't exit this screen! I know you probably think you know everything about swaddling, but so did I! Like every other mom out there, you're going to come home, try swaddling them, and come to the conclusion that your baby "doesn't like to be swaddled." This is normal. They absolutely fuss and fight the swaddle, no doubt. But once they are swaddled - that's where the magic happens. There's a reason they are swaddled and quiet in the hospital, people!! Aden + Anais Swaddles are a must, they are thin and light but still get the job done, and I absolutely consider this a necessity for all new moms. Practice also makes perfect! Once you get past the fuss and the fight, it is so worth it, I promise!!
The swaddle method can be tricky, but this image I found on  buzzfeed  is really a huge help!

The swaddle method can be tricky, but this image I found on buzzfeed is really a huge help!

... but wait, there's more!

 

3. Double Swaddling

Okay this was the real magic for us. She would easily kick and punch her way out of the single swaddle. I don't even mean using another muslin blanket to add the double, you NEED one of THESE!!!!!

Make sure you have the correct products at hand, because The Swaddle Me is another necessity!! Not only are they going to fight being swaddled, they still have their Moro reflex, which is their "startle" reflex. This will wake them up out of a dead sleep! Double swaddling them is nothing new, though! They also do this at most hospitals as well! The double swaddle method helps them feel secure and supported, similar to the womb. and although they will fight it at first, a couple of rocks and bounces later, they will be passed out! 

 

Final Thoughts

  • You need Aden + Anais Swaddles
  • You need a Swaddle Me Sac
  • Do not dress them in heavy clothing when double swaddling.
  • Don't sleep on this method!!! It may not work instantly on night one, but NOTHING does!! (except my baby acne cure)

    Hang in there, mama! Your baby is going to be sleeping in no time! 

    I hope this method works for you, too! Subscribe to my blog, and look out for my next Sleep Training 101 post on 4-6 month babes! (Currently working out the kinks on this method with my 4 month old!)

    As always, please feel free to reach out to me if any of this seems confusing or you need any extra help! Mama's gotta stick together!

    Until next time!

    Xo

    -MMM

    SLEEP TRAINING

    CHOOSE YOU : Self Care For The New Mom + Self Care Ideas

    As a new mom, it's so hard to find time for yourself. I honestly give credit to every mom with a full time job hustling out there, because I can't find time to do anything, let alone work 40 hours a week. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult it must be for them to find time to treat themselves! This is not an optional thing, it is a necessity to survive motherhood! When I say "Choose you" I obviously don't mean to necessarily choose yourself over others, especially your family, but I do mean that occasionally you to need to CHOOSE to take care of YOU, too.

    * Side note : this is actually a necessity for EVERY human out there, but especially mamas! * 

    #TreatYoSelf

     

    *Just so you know, my posts usually contain affiliate links. This means that if you make a purchase by pressing a link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.*



    SELF CARE FOR MOMS

    There are so many countless things you have to worry about as a new mom, that treating yourself definitely gets put to the back burner WAAAAAYYYY too often, (Don't even want to discuss how long I have gone without a haircut). But we HAVE to find time to do it! This weekend, thanks to my long time friend Kara, I was able to help her as a hair model and get an amazing and fresh new hair style! Something like this is just life changing! I have not given my hair any love in probably two years. No exaggeration - and that is just awful. It really got me thinking on how much more often I need to be doing this for myself. Here's my before shot.

    Wish I could describe my fancy new hairdo in cosmetology terms, but basically she took trash and made it into a masterpiece and I just cannot figure out how she does it. She does all of my friends' hair, and everytime I think she can't get any better - she does. Okay enough of my girl crush on Kara, here are the afters!

    Annnnnnd a side by side Before and After... for dramatic effect, duh.

    I feel like an entirely new person! You can follow Kara's hair journey as a stylist here ! And if you're a local (or even visiting) the Treasure Coast of FL give Calvetti a call and book with Kara ASAP!

    I honestly felt SO good after this haircut, that Matt & I ended up planning a last minute date night to get dressed (semi) nicely and have a quiet meal together (at Moe's LOL)  followed by a movie. It was the greatest domino affect and that is exactly what I'm talking about today y'all.

    SOMETHING LIKE A FRESH HAIRCUT CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE AND IF NOT THAT, AT LEAST YOUR DAY. 

    We are so worried about making sure our husbands are taken care of, and their laundry is done, and they have a meal to come home to, and making sure the baby is dry, fed, happy, the dog is protected from fleas, and oh wait you have to pay 3 bills and sit on the phone with the cable company for an hour today, and oh no your husband lost his wallet for the 12th time this week and you need to find it (true story, actually happened while I was in the chair LOL) and now your lawn mower is broken so you live in a jungle, etc! (I know that was the worst run-on sentence) But that's my point! We have to STOP putting ourselves on the back burner. I went Into this Monday morning feeling READY for the week, and it's because I did a couple of things this weekend to take care of myself.

    Here are a couple of self care ideas you can do that are simple, quick, and affordable. Even if you  can't possibly find the time to get away for a couple of hours, this self care plans are pretty close!

    self care

    1. GET A HAIRCUT

    What Kara did for me was definitely more than just a haircut and took more time than just your average haircut would - but I needed it. If you don't have time for something like this, I still suggest at least getting your run of the mill haircut/trim/whatever it is you do. Sitting in that chair, not having anything to do with my hands for more than 20 minutes was indescribable. It DEFINITELY took time to get used to, but once I was adjusted it was SO NICE to relax. *Bonus* If you get your hair washed when they cut it, that's prob one of my favorite things in the world. It's the little things people!

    2. TAKE A HOT SHOWER

    LOL I know this should be a must no matter what, but once you're a mom this is literally something you have to work to achieve and that's rough. Give your baby to your hubby, mom, significant other, whatever and take a hot shower. I SWEAR by this method. Whenever I am overwhelmed and feel like I need a break, but know that it's not in the cards anytime soon, I take a super hot and steamy shower. I don't know what it is about steam that just completely calms me down but it works. I sit there and just breathe until I feel ready to clean myself and start fresh. Yes - I literally SIT in the shower sometimes. Don't knock it until ya try it, okay! Sometimes I will do this mid day, and when I get out I feel so refreshed and motivated to finish whatever is at hand that day. Sometimes we need that mid day pick me up! 

    3. PAINT YOUR NAILS

    Or the longer alternative, get them done. While your babe is napping in the other room (being watched via monitor of course) treat yourself to that cheap nail polish home manicure girl! I know this sounds silly, or like you can do a million other things during nap time. I know how hard it is to try getting so much done in and hour or two period without a baby in your arms. But fresh paint is another thing that makes me feel like I semi have my life together.

    Sometimes taking care of yourself can be something as little as putting on some lipstick and dressing nicely, and whatever it may be just do it. Do it for yourself, because it's not just a physical type thing, its mental too. And if you don't, you will probably eventually have a mental breakdown and be overwhelmed from doing so much for others and never taking care of yourself - mentally and physically.

     

    CHOOSE YOU, MAMA'S! YOU DESERVE IT!

    I love chatting about this stuff, so if you ever feel like you need more suggestions or help in this area of your life please, just contact me, I'd be so happy to help!

    Xo

    -MMM

     

     

    A new mom's guide to : TUMMY TIME!

    A new mothers worst nightmare! Tummy time! I used to dread this part of the day, every single day.  I would watch the clock and time it 5 minutes exactly while I laid on the floor trying to soothe my little girl. I finally got my niche and stuck with it, and now my girl has already learned how to roll over at 3 months old! Not that it's out of the ordinary, but I feel like it's all because I was persistent and diligent with tummy time!

    There is no exact age to start at, but they say as long your baby was full-term and healthy that you can start as early as day 1 home from the hospital! We let her settle in a little before starting. Like most things in life, starting is the hardest part! 

     

    *Just so you know, my posts usually contain affiliate links. This means that if you make a purchase by pressing a link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.*



    tummy time

    Tummy Time Mats

    We have this tummy time mat, and it honestly does work great! But not for beginners! That was our first mistake! Thinking that miraculously putting our newborn on this mat was going to get her to perfect her tummy time skills... ummmm no! You definitely have to be on a professional level to use these mats! It can be scary for them, just facing the ground struggling(sort of) to breathe! And as a mom, you are obviously freaking out and uncomfortable when they're uncomfortable! We put the mat away until she was much more advanced and now she absolutely loves to play on it and grab for the toys! I definitely suggest purchasing one forsure! 

     

    A Nursing Pillow

    A nursing pillow has been such a lifesaver in my life as a new mom for so many different reasons.  It's a nursing pillow, so it obviously was amazing for that when I was just starting breastfeeding and really awesome even for other people to use when holding her! But I really felt like we got our moneys' worth when I discovered its uses for tummy time! When she was still learning how to get better function and control of her head, the boppy pillow really helped due to the extra cushion put under her chest. It propped her up a little higher, making her more comfortable and able to see around her better. I think part of being uncomfortable with tummy time is them only being able to see the ground and that's all. If your baby is anything like mine, I'm sure they love to look around and see their surroundings. The nursing pillow really helped her get better control and was a complete game changer for her tummy time routine! We prop her on her pillow, put her flashing singing turtle in front of her, and let her gaze in awe at the colors and sounds! She loves it! Of course always supervise your child while using the nursing pillow!

    *P.S. use my code : "MMM100"  @ Nursingpillow.com for a FREE nursing pillow :)* 

    tummy time
    tummy time

     

    Time Increments

    Ugh this was the worst. I wanted to pick her up the absolute second I put her down. She hated it so much! We started with 3 minute increments at a time. Honestly, I couldn't bare to hear her go crazy and scream like she did for more than once a day so we really only did it for a couple of minutes once a day. Once I felt more healed from delivery, comfortable and able to really focus 100% on her (about 3-4 weeks in) we really tried making up for lost time! Tummy time is apart of our daily schedule now and can sometimes last up to 15 minutes! She really enjoys being on her tummy and reaching for her toys. I think the best way to handle time increments is to start low at 3 minutes per time to get acquainted, and then increase from there. 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes, 10 minutes. By the time they are comfortable, you can almost put them anywhere that's soft on their tummies! We do tummy time on the carpet, our tummy time mat, in our pack and play - pretty much anywhere! Always supervised of course!

    This same night she rolled over for the very first time!

    This same night she rolled over for the very first time!

    Hopefully you found this post helpful, and your babe is on their way to successful and less stressful tummy time! 

    Xo

    -MMM

    BRINGING BABY HOME - 5 Tips to survive the first weeks

    Ahhhh... motherhood. Being a new mom can honestly be like culture shock. Your whole pregnancy, everybody is obsessed with you and that belly, and then the second they arrive, it's "mom who?"

    Then you're husband and your family goes back to work, and there you are - just you and a tiny little baby - all alone.

    Ummmm. WHAT? I HAVE TO BE A MOM NOW? BUT I STILL NEED MY MOM! Although I cannot promise you will ever stop needing your mom (you won't - ever) I can promise that these 5, not so typical, tips will help get you on your feet!

     

    *Just so you know, my posts usually contain affiliate links. This means that if you make a purchase by pressing a link, I may receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you.*

    Don't feel like reading the whole post? Here's the breakdown :

    • Get Dressed, make your bed, get out of the house, don't overdo it, and just say no!
    • Get free breast pads by using my special code : "MMM100"
    • Get a free baby carrier sling by using my special code : "MMM100"


    BRINGING BABY HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL

    1. GET DRESSED

    I know this sounds like kind of an obvious one - but hear me out. Getting dressed does not mean putting on that same nursing gown you've been wearing since you got to the hospital. No - I mean really get dressed. Put on CLEAN clothes. THIS STEP IS CRUCIAL.

    I can't explain it really, but being in that night gown all day everyday made me feel so unmotivated and honestly kind of sad (night gowns ARE amazing for bedtime, though! Just don't stay in them all day). I felt like this was it - this is my life now, I wear night gowns and feed my baby every two hours and that's all there is to it. BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY

    **Getting dressed postpartum, is a lot different. It's crucial that you're using the right undergarments. Something to add to your postpartum wardrobe is breast pads (and the right ones at that!) Click the button below, to receive free breast pads, by using my special code "MMM100". I hope this helps your morning routine! :) **

    2. MAKE YOUR BED

    Okay, now you're probably thinking - "Why is this girl telling me to do things I do every single day already?" But really y'all! They are not exaggerating when they say "EVERYTHING CHANGES WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY!"  It. Is. True. I never really saw the point in making my bed pre-baby (Not exactly proud to admit that one).

    Making my bed is another crazy important part of my day now. Making my bed ensures that I do not get back in to my bed. This is something that can help you in the process of hopefully bypassing PPD! It can become SO depressing just laying in bed all day, everyday. 

    postpartum package banner long.jpg

    3. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE

    Of course there  is an appropriate time for this. Once you are semi-healed and cleared by your pediatrician for your little one to be safe & out of the house, do it!

    Not only do they enjoy that fresh air,  but so will you! Don't stress about getting everything done around the house, right now!

    ** An easy way to get out of the house, is to use a baby carrier, when toting your baby around! Baby carriers and slings can help you get keep your hands free while you are out and about, as well as keeping your baby cozy! Click the button below, to receive a free baby sling, by using my special code  "MMM100". I hope this helps you get out of the house, mama! :) **

     

    4. DON'T OVER DO IT

    I don't just mean physicially! It is so much harder now to get in and out of the house. EVERYTHING is a process now! Making a couple of stops every time you left the house never used to be a big deal, but now it is! 

    Span out your activities.. Give yourself one big thing to do a day!

    To make this even easier, plan out your weeks by using a planner! Having things written in plain sight keeps you motivated and on track!

    Taking time for yourself is NOT overrated, and is DEFINITELY a necessity! You can read more about self-care here



     

    5. JUST SAY NO

    This was a HUGE  one for me y'all! When that baby comes you are going to be BOMABRDED with visitors.

    Thank God for my great postpartum nurse who could see it in my sleep deprived eyes and put a sign on our door saying "NO VISITORS" Because honestly I hadn't slept in two days straight and was going a little crazy! (How cute is this no visitors sign?) 

    Sometimes saying no can mean missing out on things you don't  want to say no to. But such is life!

     Routine routine routine cannot be stressed enough when it comes to babies, and if saying no to that dinner with your friends will keep your babies routine in line.. then it's totally worth it!  

    So dont be afraid  to tell visitors no. Tell your friends no. Tell your family no. Just don't tell your mama no! 😝

     

    I hope this really helps with whatever you're tackling as a new momma right now!  

     

    Xo

     - Amanda